We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
