R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
