I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
