then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
