just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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