Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
