My hand turned me down
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
