just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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