Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
