Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
