Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
