theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
