Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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