Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
