Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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