just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
