I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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