We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
