he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
