Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
