When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
