Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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