she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
