everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
