everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Blood and glitter go together right?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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