Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
