seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
