Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
