I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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