WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
