the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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