I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
