we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
