You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
