Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
A+ Viking dick
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
