my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
