ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
