omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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