If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
