My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
