Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
now i know why i became what i already was.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
