Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
