I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
