there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
