dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
