I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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