So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
