Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
