I'm sorry my penis didn't work
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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