Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
