I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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