operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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